V/H/S (2012)

posted in: Duane, Review | 0
VHS-Poster
A group of drunken assclowns, after deciding that molesting women for YouTube videos doesn’t pay, decide to take a job burglarizing a house in search of a particular VHS tape. The group finds more than they bargained for. Shaky cams and idiocy ensues.vlcsnap-00001
I’ve never been big on anthologies to begin with. Nor have I really understood the fascination with the “found footage” film that has been so prevalent ever since the whole Blair Witch thing made neo-horror fans jizz in their pants. Sure it can work at times ([REC] comes to mind, as well as Paranormal Activity to a lesser extent) but for the most part it just comes across as gimmicky and amateurish… a way to cut corners and hopefully make an ass ton of money with minimal overhead or effort. In V/H/S this approach works at times… other times not so much.
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Written and directed by a myriad of people including Ti West (House of the Devil), David Bruckner (The Signal), Glenn McQuaid (I Sell the Dead), Adam Wingard (A Horrible Way to Die), V/H/S certainly had potential but unfortunately most of it falls flat. Maybe it’s a generational thing. I’m certain these vapid mouth breathers that have been weaned on shit like Blair Witch and the drivel that Rob Zombie keeps churning out will adore V/H/S. They’ll sing the praises of the originality of the shaky-cam-running-down-a-hallway aesthetic and they’ll identify with the inbred drunkards bumbling about in the various segments to the ends of the earth. The Hollywood hype machine has seen to that already. Of course it’s not all bad. I really liked Ti West’s contribution “Second Honeymoon”, I appreciated how down to earth it felt as well as its lack of a supernatural element which differs from the rest of the movie and as such I can certainly recommend West’s segment wholeheartedly. The rest of it is hit and miss. There are a few decent kill scenes sporadically throughout the film (the one in Second Honeymoon was particularly amusing) and some gratuitous nudity with horrendously homely girls that are horrifying in their own right. A lot of the gore gags work because they’re fairly minimalist and straightforward whereas others are laughable. The whole package seems like you’re watching some sort of best-of compilation put together from a bunch of low budget attempts at cashing in on the found footage craze that just will not die. The whole thing feels rushed, as if they’re just trying to fit as much “cool shit” in as possible as quickly as they can.

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Expect to see a lot of this…
The hype machine is revving full throttle on this one and it’s completely undeserved. It’s not the worst film I’ve been subjected to (mostly due to the aforementioned bit by West), just mostly unimpressive… and from a group of directors who from what I’ve seen are capable of some very decent filmmaking that made this all the more disappointing. Throw away the shaky cam bullshit, get a decent storyline and some half-ass attractive girls (especially if they’re gonna do full frontals) and you could have an entertaining outing here. Better luck next time. In fact the more I read about some retard fingering his ass over this, the more I’m inclined to hate it.
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Duane co-founded The Church of Splatter-Day Saints in 2005. When not immersed in film he's enjoying good whiskey, smoking meat in the backyard or thinking about sluts. He makes a damn fine habanero fire sauce.

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