Contained herein is an attempt at a sex comedy written by none other than Edward D. Wood (under pseudonym Akdon Telmig) that is (surprise!) devoid of plot, interest or sense.
The story revolves around a bunch of partly clothed cave people in the prehistoric age and their many trials and tribulations. Even as a sex comedy this manages to fall flat… almost a third of the film is a creepy (yet dull) rape scene involving some stupid virgin ritual or something where two naked cave girls roll around on top of a third “virgin” cave girl before force fucking her with some sort of ritual gazelle antler… then there’s the stupid one liners like “I’m off to see the lizard…”. Anyway there’s some raping then some more boring sex and some more attempts at humor, one cave girls gets repeatedly raped by a guy in a gorilla suit (offscreen, sadly) and they are collectively terrorized by a giant dinosaur puppet/action figure that eventually is shown devouring a Barbie doll in graphic, plastic-rending detail.
Being cave girls there are no shoes at all to be found so unless you’re into unattractive to downright ugly women with black filthy feet, the sex scenes are a complete bust.
Clocking in at a merciful 65 minutes this is easily the worst of the films included in Something Weird’s Beauties & Beasts box set. This one makes The Mighty Gorga look like an instant classic.
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Duane co-founded The Church of Splatter-Day Saints in 2005. When not immersed in film he's enjoying good whiskey, smoking meat in the backyard or thinking about sluts. He makes a damn fine habanero fire sauce.